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Alpaca poop: the reason your government hates tax havens

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Dateline: Labuan, Malaysia

I’m in Labuan checking out what I’ve called one of the world’s most underrated tax havens.

The folks in peninsular Malaysia might not want someone going out there and flagrantly announcing that this Southeast Asian country has an autonomous area that is just about as much a tax haven as Hong Kong or even many Caribbean islands.

But the reality is that for a flat free of several thousand dollars a year, anyone can incorporate a business in Labuan. For a low single-digit rate, you can avail yourself of various tax treaties.

This is a direction I see more countries like Malaysia going in: set up free trade zones and tax-free areas for foreigners to come and bring business to the country.

Meanwhile, the local tax slaves continue to use domestic companies to pay whatever tax rate the ruling class deems fit.

Now, Malaysia isn’t exactly the most egregious tax offender to begin with, thanks to a system of territorial taxation and relatively low rates that are headed in the right direction: down.

However, western nations like the United States are sending their taxes in one direction. And, sadly, that direction is the other way. Taxes in the west are for the most part going nowhere but up.

And to quote Randy Bachman, I believe “you ain’t see nothing yet”. Western politicians have become smack addicts to profligate spending, and they’ve been covering up their idiocy with a system of legalized counterfeiting cutely described as “quantitative easing“.

Which is why the annual “Worst ways the government is wasting your money” lists are always so fascinating and so infuriating.

To be fair, I don’t exactly sympathize with the people putting these lists together. The Republican politicians that love to gloat over how much money “evil Democrats” are wasting are the same ones that will jump at any chance to spend $1 trillion bombing a new country.

Heck, they’re the same ones who decry socialized medicine yet leapt at the idea to expand Medicare and hand out free prescription drugs to retirees in a vote buying scheme.

The best way to handle high taxes at home is to go somewhere else. Somewhere like Labuan. Go where you’re treated best.

But in case you’re wondering where that “fair share” you’re paying is going, here are a few examples:

  • In one government-funded study, a lucky group of rabbits “received daily rub downs from a ‘mechanical device that simulates the long, flowing strokes used in Swedish massages”. The researchers were on the government dole to determine whether such massages could be used to “treat illness” in the rabbits. Cost: $387,000
  • In another study, a group of state researchers in California spent years seeking out a facility that would allow them to train mountain lions to run on treadmills. For whatever reason, the researchers were curious what effect that would have. (In case you’re wondering, the lions learned in a little less than a year.) All at a cost of: $856,000.
  • While you’d think the government would be worried about getting their citizens back to work, they’re instead hooking up with the elitists at Columbia University to develop a video game about climate change. The idea of the game is to freak players out with rising oceans and a runaway zombies. No mention if they are developing another video game with the more likely scenario of government riots when EBT cards get cut off. Nonetheless, the total cost: $5.2 million.
  • In an effort to fight to highly propagandized “war on terror”, the government is investing millions to tweet at terrorists. Basically, the government set up a Twitter account to counter “terrorist propaganda on Twitter”. The only problem is, even lovers of big government hate it. Time Magazine called it a boondoggle, saying it only empowered the terrorists. Total cost: $3 million. Apparently the government has never heard of Odesk.

And my personal favorite…

  • The US Department of Agriculture handed out a $49,999 grant – money that never has to be paid back – to a private citizen in Virginia to market and distribute “Mary’s Premium Alpaca Poop Packs”. Mary Forte, who recently started the company, said she planned to use the money to build a website (even though, “I don’t really know how…”). Apparently, Mary really doesn’t know how, because her website can’t be found on Google. Perhaps they should hire her over at Obamacare headquarters. Because the government may as well have flushed their $50,000 with her down the toilet.

Unlike US conservatives who claim that cutting “government waste” would solve all of the country’s problems, I realize that these expenditures are a tiny sliver of a huge pie that is riddled with problems all over. No one wants to touch the Ponzi Scheme that is Social Security or US military spending. Those things will bankrupt the country and help cause a dollar collapse.

But here’s the issue: the US and other western governments are have such a socialite mentality when it comes to money that they figure they can afford to waste your money as they please. The issue isn’t a few hundred grand being wasted; the issue is your government is too arrogant to care.

And heck, if they have the option of pushing the “Print” button as many times as they want, I guess they never will run out of money Of course, since poor slaves like you don’t have the opportunity to print more money for yourself, whatever you have will dwindle away.

International diversification is all about going where your money is respected. Try pulling wasteful stunts like these in a small country like Liechtenstein and see how people react.

Using offshore strategies, like those we’ll be sharing at Passport to Freedom in Cancun, can help you build a blueprint for protecting your money from taxes that fund alpaca poop.

Governments hate tax havens because, when used legally, tax havens give you control over your money. They siphon money off from your local bureaucrat’s ability to buy vote by giving money to pet projects and bankrupt the countries that don’t respect their citizens.

That should sound like a good thing to anyone other than a power-hungry bureaucrat. So the next time you hear some politician decry tax havens, remember that he or she is only angry that you’re using legal means to take money out of the government’s wasteful hands. Then, fight back.


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