How to be a Happier MGTOW by Dating Overseas

Dateline: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

If you’re looking for something to be outraged and mad about, you will find it. Be it politics, the culture wars, or gender dynamics, you will find it. Always.

Some people define themselves by the anger, sadness, and resentment they feel for these topics. And I sympathize with them.

I’ve gone through periods where I allowed pain to be a driving force in my life – I initially left the US because I never fit in there

I’ve always been an old soul who held himself to higher standards. I would show up to meet a friend of mine wearing cufflinks and a tie, only to be made fun of because I wasn’t wearing a grimy shirt. 

The same happened in dating. I never quite connected with the US mindset and I became quite disillusioned.

But I never let the pain define who I was, which is why I’ve never joined the MGTOW movement (Men Going Their Own Way). More importantly, I found a better solution once I left the US and expanded my options abroad. In this article, I want to show you how you can do the same thing to become a happier MGTOW by living and dating overseas.

What Is MGTOW?

If you’ve never heard of MGTOW, it is a growing group of men that believe the deck is stacked against their sex. You can look at it from any number of perspectives – males are the overwhelming victims of suicides, violent deaths, homelessness, they are liable to pay half of their money upon divorce, and may not even have the chance to see their children, just to name a few.

So, if society doesn’t take care of them, these Men Go Their Own Way. They forego marriage, or relationships with females of any kind, and refuse to let society bully them.

The idea is to close themselves off from the pain, engage in their own interests, and interact as little as possible with the noxious influences outside. They view society itself as “gynocentric”, where everything is done in service of the female, and males are viewed as disposable items to be used in the pursuit of that goal.

I agree with some of their points, the antagonism between the genders in various countries is untenable. But the keyword in the previous sentence is “in various countries”, which implies that in many others it isn’t the case. 

If you have a more global perspective, overseas dating can solve the MGTOW reasons for despondency.

How MGTOW Can Expand Their Perspective

The MGTOW has supposedly swallowed “the red pill”, so named after that scene in the Matrix wherein the protagonist is offered a blue pill that erases his memories from reality, or the red pill that makes him permanently aware of the truth.

But here’s the thing, you don’t see movements like MGTOW in most countries outside the West. The one notable exception perhaps being the “sōshoku-kei danshi”, or “herbivore men” in Japan.

To make a long story short, “herbivore men” are men who reject the “salaryman” culture; wherein Japanese men are expected to sacrifice their life in favor of a company where they’ll be permanent employees to a single entity that will likely work them to death. 

This rejection happens at the social level as well. Given their loss in status, they otherwise don’t pursue romantic relationships or find it worth the bother. In 2010, single Japanese men were questioned on the phenomenon and it was determined that  61% of men in their 20s and 70% of men in their 30s considered themselves to be “herbivores”.

Other than that, the West is alone in having such movements. If the red pill truly represented the uncontroversial truth, it would be far more widespread.

To me, it would seem like both the cultural and economic forces simply create an environment that facilitates this type of behavior and status quo. It’s not a universal truth of the human condition.

The easiest solution to this problem reminds me of a bad joke you sometimes hear doctors say:

“Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this!” says a patient with a cast on one arm and pained expression as he lifts up his arm. 

“Well, stop moving it like that then!” the doctor responds exasperated. 

MGTOW does identify some injustices and cultural trends, but its prescription for the malady is wrong. Rather than try to make the best out of a bad circumstance, why not simply change the situation entirely?

If your arm hurts, then just use the other one. If your dating and day-to-day life suck where you are, then go to a place where it doesn’t.

That’s what the MGTOW philosophy doesn’t understand. They look out of their window and assume the whole world is like their limited point of view.

But here’s something interesting – according to psychological research, the average person can have 150-210 close connections with other people at one time. This phenomenon is known as “Dunbar’s Number”. 

This is because our brains evolved in tribes of roughly that size. For 100,000 years, those 150-210 people were almost the entirety of our world, until we began creating villages and then cities. 

However, we’re still programmed to make inferences based on what society is like according to whom we hang out with. In the wider social framework, this is barely statistically relevant. 

Even if every single person in your social network has a certain characteristic, it hardly matters when we’re talking about the behavior of millions or even billions of people. Birds of a feather, flock together.

The world is much, much bigger than you subconsciously think it is. 

That’s why a political candidate can win and you will hear people say, “I don’t even know anyone who voted for them”.

Extend this framework, not only within a country but into a global perspective and you have an infinite amount of configurations for those 150-210 people.

You are the average of the people closest to you. Do not be around people who define themselves through their pain and struggles, find people who characterize themselves through their goals, dreams, and how they overcome obstacles. 

Run Toward a Dream, Not Away From Pain

MGTOW Run Toward a Dream Not Away From Pain

If you want to be happier, don’t focus on what’s wrong. Run toward all that’s good.

By all means have standards of what you are willing to tolerate, but do something with that anger when the line is crossed.

Use your energy to go and explore new horizons and alternatives. Perhaps, yes, the dating market is bad in the United States.

But it’s not awful in Eastern Europe or Asia, where the sexes are not at war with each other. They mutually complement and balance each other, as it should be. 

The MGTOW philosophy, alongside groups like angry libertarians ranting about government injustices and waste, may have valid concerns. But so what?

You are but a single person. Even if you sacrifice your life to enact change, it’s unlikely that you will be able to change the civilizational inertia guiding these trends.

Rather than being bitter, instead of living in a society that you inherently disagree with, why not go where you are treated best?

Almost a decade and a half ago, my dissatisfaction with my circumstances led me down a path that changed my life. 

Originally, I just wanted to find people with whom I had a genuine connection. But slowly, I began to realize that being abroad had a host of benefits beyond just overseas dating.

Once you are no longer bound to one area, you can not only pick and choose whom you interact with on the social level, but also at the societal level. I can now look at what the governments of the world are offering and decide to become a citizen there based on whether their policies would suit me from a legal and tax perspective

MGTOW Should GWYTB

Whenever I mention that I have a wife on my YouTube channel, there’s usually a portion of the comments saying they can’t wait for the divorce or similar horrible things.

I pity them, I truly do, because they’re so filled with hate that they are determined that others feel their same misery so that they don’t feel like something is missing in their lives. These people cannot be at peace if anyone else has found joy.

If they don’t get out of their cycle of hate, these individuals will never achieve anything or find happiness. Hate begets hate. If you believe you cannot change your world, you will always subject yourself to paralyzing feelings of helplessness.

Yes, you are but one person, you cannot change the sweeping normalcy that is the culture and legal system of a country. But why would you try to?

There is no reason to be a martyr. 

You don’t have to change the world, just your world.

There is good out there, you just need to be willing to give life a chance. Don’t identify with the pain, identify with hope.

There are 7.4 billion people in the world and 195 countries to choose from – all with their unique history, cultures, and regulation. By staying in one place, it’s like reading the first page of a novel, over and over, while complaining about the fact that nothing changes.

Yes, nothing is different, but because you didn’t allow it to change. If you venture out into the unknown and find a place you can call home, then all the MGTOW reasons, or any other fringe ideology you hold that drove you to embrace pain and misery as a default, will seem pointless. 

I’m telling you as someone who lived through similar frustrations as yourself – go where you’re treated best (GWYTB) and live life on your own terms. You won’t regret it. 

Andrew Henderson
Last updated: May 18, 2020 at 5:24PM

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11 Comments

  1. Scott

    Thank you for a different perspective. I’m going to try your strategy.

    Reply
    • Stasa Momcilovic

      Glad to hear that Scott!

      Reply
  2. Emo

    My advice is to never let a Canadian woman know that you have options overseas. She will try to get police and the legal system to make you suffer. Toronto is known for this. It’s a plantation for men.

    Reply
    • Gynocentric Canada Sucks

      Agreed! Canada is a HORRIBLE place for men. Avoid at all costs if you are not from there.

      Reply
    • Mitchell Carson

      Is it true that Justin Trudeau plans to import over 5,000,000 immigrants, international students and refugees in total for the years 2021 to 2025?

      When are Canadians going to realize that so many migrants flocking to Toronto will create instability and extremely high house prices while driving down wages?

      Reply
  3. Claude

    I dated a Toronto woman, and after she falsely accused me of criminal harassment and stalking as a way of getting back at me, I have no money to leave Toronto. I feel like my life is going to conclude this winter. Every cent that I saved is gone. My $25,000 life savings down the drain to defend myself from false accusations. Toronto is a bad omen and a curse on men.

    Reply
  4. Karl

    “go where you’re treated best” is a great lifestyle but it doesn’t make you immune to the dangers of the world.
    It’s true that the feminist ideology is not omnipresent in the whole world (yet), but you’re definitely wrong about the Eastern Europe, where MGTOW groups exist as well.
    All women are hypergamous by nature – it’s an evolutionary algorithm. While a different cultural background can make them more amicable and welcoming, there’re plenty of gold diggers hunting for your wealth outside the West.

    No one in the world will date you unless you’re beneficial to them.

    Seriously, if you’re up for safe dating in a foreign country you absolutely need to know the local laws, the customs and the possible traps out there. Dating abroad is not a guarantee against a false rape accusation, blackmail, extortion or the like. The ROI on dating is close to 0 anyway, otherwise everyone would have already moved to the places where it’s worth it.

    MGTOW is a sobering awakening to the dangers of dating and marriage, no matter where you live.

    Reply
    • John Mason

      Avoid countries with “Caucasians”. Money will always give a man respect in poorer third world countries. The cops will take US$20 as protection money.
      Why live in Canada or America to be treated like second class citizens?

      Reply
  5. John Mason

    Toronto. Once you move there, you will not get to leave. The more you are stuck, the less likely you will be free.

    Reply
  6. Tyler Avril

    I grew up in Canada. Canadian women are way more hostile towards men than American women. When I moved to the USA, I discovered that difference. The laws are stacked against men in Canada.
    If you criticize or hurt a woman’s feelings, even if the accusations are unfounded, Toronto Police arrest you.

    Reply
  7. Mitchell Carson

    I moved from Canada to Florida 22 years ago. Started a Business, married, and then eventually obtained dual citizenship. Now, at 50 I’m divorcing and considering moving back to Canada. This article is eye opening to say the least.

    I have 4 women on Facebook in Canada that I knew growing up and had some form of relationship with that are now single that constantly hounding me for information on when I’m returning and confirming to meet. I’m an average guy but something must be up there to receive so much attention. Maybe the fact I have a home to live in when I return while keeping my Florida residence might be a factor. I heard the Housing market is out of control.

    Maybe I should check out Colombia or the Phillipines first. Confused.

    Reply

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